HIV tests are more positive than that guy
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I still have a little drunk in my system
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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