well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize