I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
