I want to make a zoo with you.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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