i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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