Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
