I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
