sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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