I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I supernannyed him into submission
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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