I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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