butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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