so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
