At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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