Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
