Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
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