i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
what is it with giant penises always finding me
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
