By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
