Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize