You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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