Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
