No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
