U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
