I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
