i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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