Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Randomize
