Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
