I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
