dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
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