you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
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