btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
