i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize
