the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Just puked most of my soul out..
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