I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Is Oprah even human
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
