My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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