We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
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