as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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