I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
They left me at home... I'm a liability
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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