im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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