He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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