I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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