Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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