Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
In America we eat man semen.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
