so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Randomize
