quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
