please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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