why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
We need to rekindle our bromance
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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