The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
