If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Life is so much better after having sex.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
