break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
