Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
