i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
