stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
