I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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