You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
