Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize
