The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Randomize
