I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
